Put A Cup In It

7 Alternatives to the $369 THINX Period Sex Blanket

You may have seen the newest *innovation* to ever *come* to the menstrual market: the THINX Period Sex Blanket.

This groundbreaking innovation features “4-layer tech to absorb fluids while you play” … “plush satin (perf for cuddling)” and “a v-inspired pattern in red stitching for low-key #periodpride.”

The THINX Period Sex Blanket also features an oyster shell color [we don’t know about you, but ocean references related to our vagina are tops], and once used you must rinse immediately in cold water on a delicate cycle and hang.to.dryaway from direct sunlight.

You can have all of this for just $369.00

Love it? Not feeling it? We aren’t…

Okay, okay.. I mean we get it. Period sex is great with heightened sexual energy and all. Ever wonder why you get horny AF right before your period? This could be why. But does it really require a $400 blanket? We don’t think so.

If you’d like to take advantage of this erotic opportunity but skip the gimmicks and price tag, here are a few options for you… some of these may be more practical than others 🤣

Luxury Bath Sheet: Choose your own color, but we figure this one won’t show stains 🤷‍

Vintage Towels: Not into the luxury of a bath sheet? Have vintage towels that you’ve hung onto since your nana gave you her old ones when you left for college? They’ll do! Juuust maybe don’t tell Nana 😳

Plush and Comfy Blood Splatter Blanket: An affordable option that can be machine washed and dried… or you could just say “fuck it” and channel your inner Jackson Pollock to create your own 😉

Dropcloth: For the rugged utilitarian.

Peapods: Because it’s sort of, not really what they were designed for? Fluids are fluids? 🤷

Ziggy Cup: A newer product (you can see our review here!) to the market. This is a silicone, reusable menstrual disc that facilitates comfortable, mess-free period sex flawlessly.

Softdisc: While we prefer a reusable option and don’t find these as comfortable, the Softdisc is certainly compatible with mess-free period sex. (We also have a review of their related product, the FLEX)

Did we miss your favorite alternative? Let us know!

*vintage towel photo credit goes to eBay

5 Responses

  1. The Liberator Fascinator throw is also an option, at the still-high-for-a-blood-blanket price of $120, and it comes in more colors.

  2. This article was hilarious, Amanda!
    It would be interesting to find out how many of their period sex blanket they actually successfully sold. Im at going to take a wild guess and say that they are probably not flying off the shelves! Haha

  3. The Blue Zoca Waterproof blanket is a bargain at $84, compared to to the $400 Thinx blanket. It comes in “Merlot,” a deep wine color that should work quite nicely. It’s quiet, doesn’t bunch up or shift around and it’s east to wash. Found it on Amazon . . .

  4. The THINX works for bumsex mess as well, even after a curry. 5 stars all round. FYI Don’t wash with whites.

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